I'm An American Anarchist, You Better Be Scared!

I'm a big fat anarchist with no teeth and a tattoo. I drive around on a Honda Goldwing, with NO HELMET, cuz I'm an anarchist. Don't like it? Fuck you, I'm arrogant and I smash shit constantly.

I'm blaring Rage Against the Machine right now, just to piss off my neighbours. I eat only frozen burritos. Sometimes I wear my ski mask while I stand naked in front of my mirror, smoking my pipe and demanding of my reflection....me hablas??? me hablas, wey??? Usually after that I put on a dress and high heels and go to this little bar I know, where we discuss how many chickens each family will need after the revolution.

I do not bathe as bathing is a Christian insitution and I want to burn all institutions to the ground. It is NOT arson if I do it, as I am mentally and morally capable of knowing what deserves to be burned and what does not.

I wear a bandana covering my face at all times. Even while I'm wearing my ski mask. I like to carry spent shotgun shells in my pockets and speak with a Mexican accent, sometimes Cuban. Doan like eet? Fok you!

I hang out at an Army Surplus store daily where I am being mentored by a guy I like to call Sarge. He's helping me decide on what gauge of barb-wire I should use for the community chicken coop. Sometimes after the store closes, I put on a dress and high heels and Sarge and I pretend like we're married.

I am the only true patriot left in America. Not even other anarchists are as arrogant as I. Why, my entire family fought in the war of 1812, all while wearing dresses and high heels, as is a family tradition. Our familial regiment killed two women at a well and an old lady washing socks before a farmer with a pointy stick chased us off. We still remember the 40 men we lost to that stick that day. That means I am more American than those who only listen to the "truth" and accept it without proof that it is truth.

Like I question every single thing. E.V.E.R.Y. T.H.I.N.G. Do you question if the speed limit signs are telling the truth? I do, and until I see proof the signs reflect the law exactly, and that the law itself is a true reflection of the will of the people and not the corporations, I will drive whatever speed I wish as I am an anarchist and don't wear a helmet.

In closing, please mock me so I can win a debate. If you do, I'll put on my dress....

There Is No Free Speech In America

Americans like to say they have free speech. But the fact of the matter is, there is no freedom of speech there.

Sure, if you act like them, talk like them, think like them, be stupid like them, they'll allow you to say something every now and then. But if you want to speak the truth that they don't want to hear, then you are immediately censored. You're allowed to speak as long as you're a racist homophobe. Speak against racism or homophobism they tell you that you are trying to censor free speech.

The head spins.

I find it interesting that Cancun is open for March break with more than half of hotels open and sand dredged from the bottom to put on the beaches. They've cleaned up the sewers and they've cleaned up the streets and they're still working hard. Why is it that this can happen in Mexico for tourists but not in New Orleans for Americans?

But American Idol and 24 are more important. Unless you're on a message board wanting to bash Bush.

The world knows exactly how racist and disgusting you people are because of what is happening in New Orleans still. They're still finding dead bodies. Children are still missing. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Every single one of you. You're displacing the black population of New Orleans which is 80% of the population of New Orleans and you're making it damn hard for them to ever come back and you're doing it on purpose. You suck.

Zero Immigration For Americans!

Let's close the borders! We don't need the frightened masses coming here to escape the boot that is already on their necks!

SCREW THEM! They are not like us. They are a warlike people, bent on world domination. I say FUCK the ones who don't like what is happening if they want in here. FUCK THEM!

Why should we allow our wonderful way of life to be contaminated by their racist, homophobic uber Christian mentality? They all have it. They're all nationalist freaks.

How many nationalistic songs are written about Canada? How many boots do we stick up people's asses because it's the Canadian way?

I am so happy to see the wave of anti-Americanism sweeping Canada.

It shows me we are sane.

CANADA FOR CANADIANS!! And immigrants of countries destroyed economically or physically by the goddamn United States of Facism.

20 Fast Facts About Americans

1. They're arrogant

2. They know everything.

3. They are always right.

4. They're rude.

5. Their history is revionist and usaro-centric.

6. The government is set up so as to be two sides of a two-headed coin. No matter how you flip it it always comes up the same.

7. They hate homosexuals.

8. They eat too much fast food.

9. They're lazy.

10. They have bad teeth.

11. They're loud.

12. They're self-righteous.

13. They're warlike.

14. Americans consider Michael Moore to be an intellectual.

15. Americans consider Fox News to be real news.

16. More Americans vote for American Idol than vote in their own elections.

17. Americans will punch you in the face for looking at them the wrong way then claim they were just trying to liberate your teeth from your jaw.

18. Americans force poor countries into free trade agreements then put tarriffs on everything coming into the States.

19. Americans chew like cows.

20. Americans can't spell.