20 Fast Facts About Americans
1. They're arrogant
2. They know everything.
3. They are always right.
4. They're rude.
5. Their history is revionist and usaro-centric.
6. The government is set up so as to be two sides of a two-headed coin. No matter how you flip it it always comes up the same.
7. They hate homosexuals.
8. They eat too much fast food.
9. They're lazy.
10. They have bad teeth.
11. They're loud.
12. They're self-righteous.
13. They're warlike.
14. Americans consider Michael Moore to be an intellectual.
15. Americans consider Fox News to be real news.
16. More Americans vote for American Idol than vote in their own elections.
17. Americans will punch you in the face for looking at them the wrong way then claim they were just trying to liberate your teeth from your jaw.
18. Americans force poor countries into free trade agreements then put tarriffs on everything coming into the States.
19. Americans chew like cows.
20. Americans can't spell.
2. They know everything.
3. They are always right.
4. They're rude.
5. Their history is revionist and usaro-centric.
6. The government is set up so as to be two sides of a two-headed coin. No matter how you flip it it always comes up the same.
7. They hate homosexuals.
8. They eat too much fast food.
9. They're lazy.
10. They have bad teeth.
11. They're loud.
12. They're self-righteous.
13. They're warlike.
14. Americans consider Michael Moore to be an intellectual.
15. Americans consider Fox News to be real news.
16. More Americans vote for American Idol than vote in their own elections.
17. Americans will punch you in the face for looking at them the wrong way then claim they were just trying to liberate your teeth from your jaw.
18. Americans force poor countries into free trade agreements then put tarriffs on everything coming into the States.
19. Americans chew like cows.
20. Americans can't spell.
posted by Kwisatz Haderach at 3:44 PM
2 Comments:
#21.
Americans are so rude that they will send you long stupid emails that should have been posted on this blog. For example, Danny Taggart sent me this pile of whaterver it is. ;)
Not even a paragraph break!
"'Ello. I found this from B-Net. As an American, I would like to analyze your 20 Fast Facts, both in how they apply to me personally as well as the country as a whole. 1 - You're right. 2 - I don't think I know everything, but yes, many do believe this, even when they know next to nothing about other countries or about their own history. I can point to a few family members who exhibit this, sadly. 3 - Same for #2. 4 - *I'm* not, I swear! 5 - True. (I found "USAro" to be a humorous word.) 6 - This is especially true as of late, though I still will sincerely protest that the Democrats are not the exact same thing as Republicans and that our country would be better off with Dems as a majority in Congress (and Greens would be even better!). 7 - Huge numbers of people do, which is *deeply* unfortunate. I don't, though. That would mean that I would hate myself, which I certainly do not, as well as many of my friends and acquaintances at college. 8 - I almost never eat fast food; the only kind that I do is not from a major chain and actually has food that isn't grade E. (But in general, yes - it's quite ridiculous that McDonald's even still exists after "Supersize Me" came out. However, I do know that some people continue to go to places like that because they're poverty-stricken and the food is cheap. Same with Wal*Mart, as much as I despise that global chain of hell.) 9 - Many are. I'm not. 10 - I haven't noticed that as much. I do know that I've been to the dentist ONCE in my life solely due to the fact that our lovely country refuses to provide its citizens with universal health care and my family is always tottering on the edge financially. 11 - Extremely. 12 - Almost always. 13 - Yes, especially extremely macho men. I am not warlike. 14 - A majority consider him to be a crazy obnoxious guy (because he's "too" liberal). I don't think he's crazy and I greatly value his documentaries. That being said, I don't think he's an "intellectual". 15 - Many, many Americans, including my deranged grandmother who swears by the words of Bill O'Reilly. But then many Americans don't, including me and every person who buys one of the "FAUX NEWS" pins they sell across America at hippie-esque liberal boutiques. 16 - I'm not sure if this statistic is valid, but I wouldn't be surprised and it would cause me continued frustration and massive anger and lamentation. 17 - Nice analogy ;) 18 - True. And get angry when the people being trampled on by said trade agreements try to escape into the U.S. 19 - I haven't noticed this either, but then I haven't really been around a lot of cows to remember precisely how they chew. (Slow and long, I imagine.) 20 - I can most definitely spell. I also agree that they can't spell in general. I find horrible spelling mistakes most everywhere I go. I try to correct people on it, which angers them and causes them to ignore me. If you have any tips on how to make stupid people change, I'm all ears. I'm also up for obtaining citizenship in Vancouver if you can swing that. Lovely city. Also, how is the Conservative party hold on government going? When is the earliest date you can remedy that? "
DAGNY. Not Danny. I was thinking of Full House or something.
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