I'm An American Anarchist, You Better Be Scared!
I'm a big fat anarchist with no teeth and a tattoo. I drive around on a Honda Goldwing, with NO HELMET, cuz I'm an anarchist. Don't like it? Fuck you, I'm arrogant and I smash shit constantly.
I'm blaring Rage Against the Machine right now, just to piss off my neighbours. I eat only frozen burritos. Sometimes I wear my ski mask while I stand naked in front of my mirror, smoking my pipe and demanding of my reflection....me hablas??? me hablas, wey??? Usually after that I put on a dress and high heels and go to this little bar I know, where we discuss how many chickens each family will need after the revolution.
I do not bathe as bathing is a Christian insitution and I want to burn all institutions to the ground. It is NOT arson if I do it, as I am mentally and morally capable of knowing what deserves to be burned and what does not.
I wear a bandana covering my face at all times. Even while I'm wearing my ski mask. I like to carry spent shotgun shells in my pockets and speak with a Mexican accent, sometimes Cuban. Doan like eet? Fok you!
I hang out at an Army Surplus store daily where I am being mentored by a guy I like to call Sarge. He's helping me decide on what gauge of barb-wire I should use for the community chicken coop. Sometimes after the store closes, I put on a dress and high heels and Sarge and I pretend like we're married.
I am the only true patriot left in America. Not even other anarchists are as arrogant as I. Why, my entire family fought in the war of 1812, all while wearing dresses and high heels, as is a family tradition. Our familial regiment killed two women at a well and an old lady washing socks before a farmer with a pointy stick chased us off. We still remember the 40 men we lost to that stick that day. That means I am more American than those who only listen to the "truth" and accept it without proof that it is truth.
Like I question every single thing. E.V.E.R.Y. T.H.I.N.G. Do you question if the speed limit signs are telling the truth? I do, and until I see proof the signs reflect the law exactly, and that the law itself is a true reflection of the will of the people and not the corporations, I will drive whatever speed I wish as I am an anarchist and don't wear a helmet.
In closing, please mock me so I can win a debate. If you do, I'll put on my dress....
I'm blaring Rage Against the Machine right now, just to piss off my neighbours. I eat only frozen burritos. Sometimes I wear my ski mask while I stand naked in front of my mirror, smoking my pipe and demanding of my reflection....me hablas??? me hablas, wey??? Usually after that I put on a dress and high heels and go to this little bar I know, where we discuss how many chickens each family will need after the revolution.
I do not bathe as bathing is a Christian insitution and I want to burn all institutions to the ground. It is NOT arson if I do it, as I am mentally and morally capable of knowing what deserves to be burned and what does not.
I wear a bandana covering my face at all times. Even while I'm wearing my ski mask. I like to carry spent shotgun shells in my pockets and speak with a Mexican accent, sometimes Cuban. Doan like eet? Fok you!
I hang out at an Army Surplus store daily where I am being mentored by a guy I like to call Sarge. He's helping me decide on what gauge of barb-wire I should use for the community chicken coop. Sometimes after the store closes, I put on a dress and high heels and Sarge and I pretend like we're married.
I am the only true patriot left in America. Not even other anarchists are as arrogant as I. Why, my entire family fought in the war of 1812, all while wearing dresses and high heels, as is a family tradition. Our familial regiment killed two women at a well and an old lady washing socks before a farmer with a pointy stick chased us off. We still remember the 40 men we lost to that stick that day. That means I am more American than those who only listen to the "truth" and accept it without proof that it is truth.
Like I question every single thing. E.V.E.R.Y. T.H.I.N.G. Do you question if the speed limit signs are telling the truth? I do, and until I see proof the signs reflect the law exactly, and that the law itself is a true reflection of the will of the people and not the corporations, I will drive whatever speed I wish as I am an anarchist and don't wear a helmet.
In closing, please mock me so I can win a debate. If you do, I'll put on my dress....
posted by Kwisatz Haderach at 9:48 AM
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